so, I forgot the singular joy of frontal progesterone usage: bubbly pee.
I'll test wednesday night and not before.
No, I mean it. Really. I just don't believe I am pregnant, so I feel a little preemptively blue and oddly self protective. Those pee sticks are not calling my name yet. I guess I don't have much need to see more negatives than I need to.
Don't get me wrong, I can pretend-- say my sudden onset hydrophobia is pregnancy not rabies, I can say my evening belly yuckiness is pregnancy not stress, my tiredness yesterday may be pregnancy instead of a day where I could let down my guard with nothing planned, I can say my lack of interest in food is pregnancy not upset belly, and then my desire to graze on potato chips and fruit is pregnancy not just my own special weirdness, but really? I bet they are just what they are-- odd little things with no connection to what I am hoping.
No twinges, no secondary temp rise, no crampy awareness, no markedly sore breasts.
Since it is an ongoing issue, I just wrote a whole barfing tirade about work unhappiness and then erased it. The bottom line is this: I wish I were in an economic situation where I could quit and still keep my house. My work feeds me in some ways, but drains me in too many others. Oh how I wish it were different.
So, it is monday- happy monday everyone!
Hope it is beautiful where you are, even if it is in the way the fluorescent lights refect off your coffee.
Breathing in light
Breathing out peace
All will be well