8dpo

I decided I should stop counting, stop the incessant babble of 8 days 8 days 8 days.

But I am not sure I can.

When to test? Unlike other clinics, mine does not offer a beta for an IUI unless I get a positive test.

So, I can test, or not,

I could just wait for my temp to drop (will it on progesterone?)

or my period to come (ditto last question)

since there is nothing worse than starting the day with a surprising temp drop, I will probably test even though I am totally skeptical.

But when?

My one positive was not until day 12 (would be thursday). So I know I should wait that long. But can I? (history says it is doubtful).

My darlin' is not home the end of the week-- thurs-saturday. So... by the time he is back I will already know something. But I hate testing alone, it feels lonely I guess. I'll test with him on wednesday if not before.

Symptoms? Not really.

I hate water again. I did last time.

I stopped the DHEA which has made me feel much less sore breast-wise. Bummer and not, you know. I know you know.

I had to move the, um, region of progesterone suppository insertion from back to front since the GI insanity was just that, insane. All day, every day, gurgling madness followed by many mad rushes to the bathroom expecting calamity and other embarrassing issues. I am giving that part of my anatomy a few days off and I already feel better. All it takes is a lot of vaseline as a barrier for my other easily irritable tissues (the reason I made the switch in the first place) and very frequent panty shield changes (isn't this fun? really? such nice intimate details, so so so sorry).

For the geeks amongst us (we know who we are)-- here's a cool site with implantation information--clicking on the little <3> in the text takes you to another page with a cool timeline summary that I found very appealing.

And remember my friend Kate of the Yes, No, Maybe rollercoaster of the past week? She wrote to let me know she miscarried yesterday. Good god why does it have to be so hard. Losses suck, but she had what amounts to two in one week-- the first time she heard it was over from the dropping hCG levels, and then the actual loss after the amazing and miraculous ultrasound with heartbeat. What immense fortitude is needed to make it through that, and she is strong and resilient but oh, gosh darn, my heart breaks and I am all the way over here.

And our dear Michele is on bedrest at the hospital now, inverted and holding those precious babies for at least 3 more weeks please, then 3 more after that, and then 3 more.... makes my two week wait bitching look frivolous at best.

And me? frivolous bitching with a sleepy cat knotted up at my feet, and sunshine dappling in when the clouds let it, and rain that comes and goes, wind that tosses the leaves, and a small brown bird that sat on my railing for a long long time, tucked in its long legs and settled in as if it belonged.