I can't whistle: not yet

29 July 2009

not yet

negative (pristine cannot even make it up negative)

so far.

I'll test until I get my period so, let the games begin.

one line? sucks ass. but you all know that better than anyone(s) out there.

Last time? 11dpo was negative, I tested again 13dpo and got the faint positive so I know it is still possible, but gosh darn, I was hoping that somehow this part might be easier this time, yeah right.

one stick at a time.

thanks for the sweet support everyone.

13 comments:

Mo said...: Uggghhhh...the 2ww and poas process is maddening!! Thinking of you, Kate. Hang in. It's still possible.

Mo; July 29, 2009 at 8:59 PM
Sprogblogger said...: Oh gech. I would like this one ot have been easy and obvious from the very beginning. However - and I know you know this - it's still early, and some of us - ahem - don't seem to test well with the pee sticks, and it aint over yet.

Thinking of you so hard it makes my brain hurt.; July 29, 2009 at 9:06 PM
Mad Hatter said...: How frustrating! Grrrrrrr!!! I was wishing so hard for you here that it would happen for you tonight. But yes, it's still so early...Keeping the faith for you!; July 29, 2009 at 9:50 PM
Anonymous said...: oh lady i'm sorry for that one damn line. curses! still early so i'll keep up the good thoughts and send em over pronto!; July 29, 2009 at 9:51 PM
Megan said...: I'm hoping with you.; July 29, 2009 at 10:06 PM
onwardandsideways said...: There are meteor showers in Cali tonight. I'll look for a special star and wish for you. Hang in there, and I hope this will be The One.; July 29, 2009 at 10:28 PM
Anonymous said...: The worst sticks are the digital ones. When it reads "NOT pregnant" I almost want to pummel someone.

I'm thinking of you. I hope this is it.; July 29, 2009 at 11:40 PM
Joannah said...: I'm sorry. I know how that feels. That's all I've ever seen on a HPT.

:-(; July 29, 2009 at 11:56 PM
bb said...: Hi Kate, sorry that does suck. But keep on keeepin' on. thinking of you.; July 30, 2009 at 2:12 AM
Nic said...: Its never easy or simple is it. We all know 11dpo is early so hang in there. Its not over untill AF shows. Keep us posted; July 30, 2009 at 2:42 AM
Michele said...: Dont lose hope, dear Kate! I routinely get BFNs. There could still be a hiding BFP, I just know it!!! Fingers crossed that tomorrow brings a positive...; July 30, 2009 at 7:01 AM
just me, dawn said...: hugs!! fingers are still crossed for you.; July 30, 2009 at 9:33 AM
JB - A.K.A. Jenn said...: ...Jenn dons her bestest BFP cheerleader outfit and starts to cheer....."Give me a B....Give me an F....give me a P......what's it spell? BFP! WOOHOOOOOO!!!

Sending you only positive thoughts dear Kate!; July 30, 2009 at 12:18 PM

About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.
Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.
I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."

--Abraham