30 July 2009

12dpo

you folks are awesome, thank you for the sweet kindness, the cheerleading, the support. I know you know about all of this shite, this hopefulness, the desolation of a negative test, the trying again, ad again.
I am so sorry I am behind in my comments and visits. I promise I'll stop by soon.

me? Another neg pee stick this morning with first morning urine, but on a positive note, I had cramps last night that were enough to wake me more than once and I do not get pre-period cramping ever... and the spider angioma on the tip of my nose that showed up and got big last pregnancy, and finally disappeared afterwards is back and big enough to see... so I am still cautiously hopeful. But this is friggin hard so I probably will not test again until tomorrow. It just sucks to see the one line looking so stark and certain.

A diversion to share:
baby beluga cam

I am teaching today and tomorrow
taking the customer out to dinner tonight
so diversions abound.
and later? Laundry, remaking the bed, a hot date with horatio, my stuffed elephant, and Harry Potter (book 6).

am I cool or what?

19 comments:

IVF 40+ said...

Ya, hard and draining and weep inducing but worth every moment. Even if we fail, we have survived. Which is more than can be said for those that never had to struggle in the first place.
Keep the spirit K.
And yes, you are the cooliest of cool, in my humble opinion.
EB

onwardandsideways said...

you coo', baby, you coo'...

it can take a while for HCG to show up in the bloodstream

cramps and funky shit on your nose are encouraging

hoping hard for you!

Michele said...

Yay for cramping and pimples! Fingers still crossed that the BFN is another "too early" and that your body is actively growing a little one that is putting off some hCG!

Big hugs!

Phoebe said...

I'm hoping for you that it's implantation cramps. Distractions are oh, so helpful. What better than reading a Harry Potter book? Hugs!

bb said...

Duh, of course you are cool! And lovin' the signs. Hang in there, we are all still so hopeful for you ;-)

Best When Used By said...

I like the encouraging signs! You know, my two-line pee stick was so faint I couldn't see it, so I tried a digital and *poof* the answer became clear! Maybe pick one up and use both tomorrow! I'm hoping and praying for your BFP.

Mo and Will said...

This is SO hard. I'm hopeful tho about the cramping. Will continue to send all my positive thoughts your way!!!

Mo

twoweekwait said...

I just finished book 7 and am tempted to re-read the series all over again.

Yes, we are a unique bunch of people that do know how you feel, how high hopes soar. Each of our blogs are mini-suspense novels that for me are far more riveting than any crime or mafia saga. This is the real thing, the most important thing there is.

You're in my thoughts.

just me, dawn said...

Praying that your cramping is a positive sign....of a positive pee stick in your future. Hang in there girl, for some reason our journeys are not short stories but instead novels :)

B. said...

Yup- wicked cool. My elephant's name is Horton, and I base my understanding of the universe and atomic structure on his encounter with a dust speck.

You've got an exciting array of indicators. The pee sticks will cooperate soon. They must!

Fingers and toes still crossed for you. Thank you for keeping us posted.

Melissa said...

I'm wishing and hoping with all of my might for you. I'll be checking back often for updates.

musicmakermomma said...

Thinking of you - best of luck! Loved the HP books. Just finished the series again. I can't seem to focus enough to read anything "heavy" these days.

Grade A said...

Oh, Dear Kate,

Hoping and wishing and doing two-line dances. You are cool, btw, and distractions are good.

Fondly,
Mags

meinsideout said...

Hoping so hard for two lines tomorrow!

Sorry I did not check in yesterday - I was thinking of you. You were the biggest reason I paid my $7.95 at the Atlanta airport for some wireless.

Really hoping so hard for you.

Megan said...

Thinking of you. Distractions are a must. Cherish them and lose yourself in something else for awhile.

IF Optimist, then... said...

You are bitchin' cool. I'm going to re-read the HP book in the next couple of weeks too. Sending out much hope and love your way.

Mad Hatter said...

Lots of love to one of the coolest bloggers I know! Glad you have many things to keep you preoccupied during the homestretch! Big mama wishes and little baby wishes comin' at ya!

Elizabeth said...

All this coolness -- you must be practically frozen. Thinking of you, and hoping, and wondering, and admiring. I don't know how you do it, but you do and with bravery and grace and lovely good humor. Love the baby whale, and the other distractions (well, maybe not the clients) sound great too. In a late reply, I think to be socca it has to be chick-pea flour, but you could definitly make reg flat bread with GF flour and I bet it would be great.

K said...

Well, I think it's unanimous. You are way cool. (You'll like my current post..."Not Cool") ;)
Interesting little side effects you're cooking up. I think we shall all just wait and see. Yeah, easy for me to say, huh?