16 July 2009

brain barf

Last stim shot of this cycle this morning, trigger tonight with a 2cc butt shot.
tomorrow, a shot-free day!

I am still frustrated about the things-that-shall-not-be-mentioned that happened (or not) this cycle but will be mulled over obsessively (not really obsessively, just often. and over and over. and often. heh.)
I am also trying to keep my wits about me, trying to keep positive, keep thinking this could work, it has worked, it might work, it would be great if it did work...

progesterone support will be suppositories that I will use in the same way as last cycle, which is to say not vaginally. my skin cannot take it. so that will be fun. ok, maybe not fun per se, but at least a diversion.

I am very aware of my ovaries, especially my right one.

I had a peach for breakfast, a juicy peach. a peachy peach. a real-in-season peach.
tonight I meet with a typist to see if I can get 6 years of writing from my notebooks onto the computer. this feels huge since it has been one of those useful roadblocks I had made for myself, yes well, I still have to type it in.... well, not really, not if someone else can read my horrid scrawl, and if I can unhook emotionally from the vulnerable place of having someone read my raw brain barf (sort of like this post)... anyway, the very fact of this meeting feels like progress.

lalala, I'm ok, really, I am,
I'm just babbling.

So happy about Sprogblogger's lovely, affirming, perfectly perfect 7w ultrasound I am teary.
And MeInsideOut's blissfully dark dark dark second line (after some bleeding and a real scare).

I am ready too. I really am.


Nic said...

A day with out shots, that will be great!
Keep positive about this cycle. This has worked before and it can work again.
I am thinking of you
Take care
Nic x

Anonymous said...

The day without shots always leaves me at loose ends.
I'm hoping for good things for you!

Michele said...

fingers crossed!!!

IVF 40+ said...

good luck, dear sweet Kate. Thanks for the kitty support.

Barefoot said...

A day without shots is always weird and wonderful. Good luck with your trigger and everything that comes after! Sending lots of good thoughts your way.

Anonymous said...

Hoping. Crossing. Breath holding. Not much for praying but am sending prayer like thoughts into the universe.

Anonymous said...

Really, really hoping that this is it. The mental mind games are so hard on me - I had myself convinced it was over on Monday night and sobbing and crazed.
I am ready to get on a different ride.

I will be here to listen, to laugh - for anything.

Anonymous said...

Yay to a day without shots. And progesterone suppositories are horrid... a necessary evil I guess. I am hoping and praying this is it for you.

btw- thank you so much for your recent comment. it gave me a great deal of peace.

What IF? said...

Hooray for a no-shot-day. Those shot-free days constantly made me feel like I was forgetting something. Your mind might not be getting a reprieve, but I'm sure your tummy and butt are thanking you.

I feel for you on the progesterone support. Decidedly not fun.

Lots of optimistic, hopeful, compassionate thoughts are coming your way, as always.

K said...

Gawsh. It seems like this cycle just started the other day and here you are triggering already! Well, crossing my fingers for you and hoping the 2 ww goes as fast as it seems this stim did! (Well, it seemed fast to me, probably seemed like a year to you.)

Billy said...

A shot free day - that sounds great :-)
Fingers crossed for a successful cycle!