go see Mo and Will for some totally unexpected magic. Methinks Mo could use a little extra love in spite of the good. I imagine her emotional knees are pretty raw.
grumbling thunder that rolls in and out and brings more rain.
My house is tucked in so that thunder moves around in what feels like circles, a trick of echos, sound rebounding off this hill and that. So it is like thunder in surround sound.
I've got an upset belly this morning (guts not belly per se-- not morning sickness just yuck), and am starting slow. Tired tired. Much to blame it on in the outside world. Too scared to begin to blame it on the inside.
No symptoms other than peeing and twinging.
So I imagine I am imagining things.
Last night as I was driving home past the cattle field that also houses one big dark brown donkey, I realized that I had better get at least some part of me ready for a negative and be ready to move forward. Since next week (!) I will be at CD1 and will be doing all the baseline testing by midweek and starting stims for the IUI/stim cycle with Dartmouth. I am not good with truth I don't like. I am an avoider. But in this I know I need to at least get my act together, have part of my brain ready to move forward in that direction.
But gosh darn, I am so hopeful, but also so not wanting to be crushed. But I know it is likely I will be. Again, I would not trade the hopeful for protection against the crush. But still it is hard to know it is probably coming.
So hope is hope.
And if that does not work, there's a plan.
But, as always
a plan is just a plan, and things often do go wrong or go in unexpected directions.
but sometimes, in spite of everything, they go just right.